A warm bed

Oh it has been so cold the past couple of weeks. I have needed to wear the heavy duty woolen slippers knitted by my sister-in-law daily. I am kind of a freak when it comes to the bed--I mean I like it neat, well made, fresh sheets smoothed and normally I prefer slipping into a cool bed, but not in winter. One of the marital perks is having a built-in bedwarmer (or in my case footwarmer-my feet are always freezing, and I know that this is probably the one thing M misses least-he hated how cold my feet were, and how I would try to warm them behind his knees.) In summer it can be a drag, especially if the air-con is busted, but in winter it is definitely a bonus. I miss the warm bed, and the snuggle buddy. I do not miss M, however. I am gradually feeling less and less attached to him, and if he wasn't so charming and handsome it would be so much easier. Although I am finding that the charm doesn't work so well on me anymore, and handsomeness is only skin deep.

Stocking stuffers

Sad as I think of stuffing my own stocking this year. Why bother? I mean the surprise of it is all the fun. Maybe I could shop blindfolded and surprise myself.

"Fathers be good to your daughters...

...daughters will love like you do. Girls become lovers and turn into mothers, so mothers be good to your daughters too."

This John Mayer song is played, or I should say overplayed on the pop stations these days. When I first heard it, it struck a chord. My daughter is not fatherless, but, for all intents and purposes, she is at a great disadvantage in the father department. She is one year old, and since she was two months old, only sees her dad twice a week, a total of eight hours per week. Is this enough father-daughter bonding time, I wonder? What will happen when she is a teen, desperately seeking daddy's approval? Oh, I hope she is strong. I hope and pray that she gets enough of the love and nurturing she needs to be able to have healthy, productive relationships.

There is something about the lyrics of this song that troubles me, however. The reason the song is sung, is because the voice is frustrated with this woman he is in love with, because she is unable to love him- or at least she is unable to receive his love. So he sings to all the fathers to treat their daughters well so he (and all the other men in the world) can have a better lover. Hmmm. Not exactly the noblest of intentions. Is this the only reason for our existance as women? I am by no means a feminist, but to simplify the woman's role as being a lover and a mother aggrivates me. These are important aspects of our life's work, but we are so much more than the sum of these two parts.

I know, it is just a song, but apparently it is making an impact, mostly on women. I read some reviews on Amazon, and I don't think the "father audience" even listens to John Mayer, all of the reviews were posted by women. The father-daughter relationship is critical in a young girl's life to allow her to develop a strong sense of self. If a girl doesn't have a loving, healthy father role during those crucial pre-adolescent and adolescent years, she is in for some really tough times, but she certainly isn't doomed. We all are responsible for ourselves, and we can only blame so much on bad parenting. After we become mature adults we need to realize and accept that we are no longer governed by our parents, that we live according to our own choosing.