Closing this book

Many people, in response to my circumstances, have said I'm starting a new chapter in my life....I think I'm starting a whole new volume. So, since I have received my final judgemet of absolute divorce (papers arrived yesterday), I will be closing this blog down. Snippets will still be here, but this bit of my life is officially over. Thank you, and good night.

unwed

We had the hearing last Friday. My father and I arrived at the courthouse about twenty minutes early, and because I had a camera in my purse had to dispose of it...Dad volunteered to take it back to the car, so I waited and people watched for a few minutes. Interesting characters coming in and out of the building at quarter till nine in the morning. After dad came back we made our way to the small dingy grey room. I wasn't so sure which side to sit on, but on t.v. the plaintiff sits to the right so that is where I decided to sit. There were others there waiting for the same dismal reason. As I sat on the hard wooden pew bench I thought of the day we were married. I was proudly escorted down the aisle by my father in the dress I made. I stood on his other side then, on the other side of the aisle in a church. Instead of the groom waiting for his bride...I was the bride-not-to-be-anymore awaiting my groom for our anti-wedding. He came with his "best man" and while the uncomfortable silence was deafening, I instantly recognized his voice just outside the door. They came in together and sat on the opposite side of us whispering about something. At around nine fifteen the Master appeared and swore us in. No bibles. Just raise your right hand and swear to tell the truth. Does raising one's hand make them more truthful than usual, I wondered. I was then asked to come forward to a table and sit down to answer some questions. To all but one the answer was, "Yes". I forgot to address him as "Your Honor". The hardest question of all was, "Is there any reasonable hope of reconciling?" "No," I replied, and as I said it it stung. After my dad gave his testimony to verify the facts, it was over. M didn't have to say anything, and neither did his witness. I shall be getting some paper in the mail making it official. All those years undone in a matter of minutes.

I am glad of the closure, the end of the limbo period. I like definition in my life. What I haven't liked is this new title I wear like a giant scarlet D.

The end is nigh

Last week, I received the notice of hearing and trial for my divorce. It is scheduled for May 26th at 9 am....
It is the closure I have been waiting for and even though it's been a roller coaster of emotion the past couple years, I feel I've found my equilibrium again and am looking forward to being free at last.

Your Five Variable Love Profile

Propensity for Monogamy: Your propensity for monogamy is high. You find it easy to be devoted and loyal to one person. And in return, you expect the same from who you love. Any sign of straying, and you'll end things. Experience Level: Your experience level is high. You've loved, lost, and loved again. You have had a wide range of love experiences. And when the real thing comes along, you know it! Dominance: Your dominance is low. This doesn't mean you're a doormat, just balanced. You know a relationship is not about getting your way. And you love to give your sweetie a lot of freedom. Cynicism: Your cynicism is low. You are an eternal optimist when it comes to love and romance. No matter how many times you've been hurt - you're never bitter. You believe in one true love, your perfect soulmate. And if you haven't found true love yet, you know you will soon. Independence: Your independence is medium. In relationships, you need both "me time" and "we time." You usually find it easy to be part of a couple. But occasionally you start to feel a little smothered.

The Five Variable Love Test

Served - Severed ....same diff

Would you believe he never was served the papers?! Oh, the deputy sherriff tried many, many times, but M was never available to recieve them. (To the courts this looks like dodging, and they don't look favorably on that.) Now I wait for a court date and see what happens... I can't believe this is still not over yet...

filed

The status of my marriage is now in the hands of the Circuit Courts of Baltimore County. I filed the complaint for divorce this morning. It won't be long now.

He called me "Celeste"

During a brief exchange on the phone with M the other night, he actually called me "Celeste". I will be filing the paperwork this week. (DV)