Hello puffy eyes

Another one of those days, where I am on the verge of tears... I am such a mess.

We all slept in, which was a nice treat, and so we went to the later "Epic" service at church. It is a contemporary service, and I am more of a traditional girl, but it isn't bad, the music seems to be too emotional for me, and today that was not a good thing. I started to cry in the beginning, but just a few little tear drops, no biggie. Then there was this video drama presentation about loving your neighbor where a birthday party is thrown for a "working-girl", and that turned my optical faucets on a little bit more. But it was at this song near the end that I just couldn't contain my sorrow, then my friend placed her hand on my shoulder and it just began to pour.

I hate crying in public. I don't like to draw attention to myself in that way, but when I cry it is hard to hide it. My eyes get puffy and the whites turn pink, my whole face gets blotchy and my nose and upper lip swell slightly. So I rushed to the Ladies right after and tried to "pull myself together" after another bout of heavy tears. A few tissues and deep breaths later, I freshened my lipstick and dried my eyes and headed down to pick up my kids. It is embarrassing to walk around looking like that in a crowd of people, especially when those people know you and are concerned about you. I tried keeping my head down to avert any glances. "Oh, hello puffy eyes," my friend from WOW said as she came up to give me a sympathetic squeeze. Oh, well. Church is supposed to be the one place where you can weep and be comforted, and shouldn't feel dumb or embarrassed about it.