Birthdays

Today is my youngest child's birthday, her first birthday. Today was also a visitation day with the kids' dad. This has been the third birthday of the year of my three children to be celebrated without daddy at home. The first one was K, in March and fortunately for me, we were in California visiting family and celebrated there. But we also had a little party before our trip with in-laws and also an outing to Chuck E. Cheese with their father. It was a little awkward, but I felt a great surge of support from my in-laws at the time, and it seemed like M and I would be getting back together, so it wasn't unbearable. D's birthday was last month, and fortunately we were in North Carolina visiting with family at the beach, so we just celebrated there. This one however, we are in our home town for, so I have felt the pressure of throwing a party. I have been asked by several of my in-laws if I am having one, to which I awkwardly replied, "No parties this year." Today M took the children to Cafe Hon with his mother and one of his sisters to have a little celebration there. As I watched them all walk off with bags and balloons after dropping L off, I thought to myself, "So this is how it is going to be now: two homes, two birthdays, two different worlds." Tomorrow we will have a little celebration with Oma, and the god-parents and their little guy. Maybe by the time March rolls around again, I will feel ready to throw a party again. K will be turning six, and I am pretty sure he wants a "kid party" so I will not feel all the pressure to invite every aunt and uncle and cousin, which may make it less stressful. Although, I have never thrown a "kid party" before, so that presents its own set of challenges there.